5 Reasons NO ONE Should Move to the Magic Valley
The Magic Valley is growing so fast, sometimes it feels like we don't know how to keep up.
There is a lot to love about the Magic Valley. You can get to pretty much any activity you want within a days drive, the people are friendly and the Snake River is down right gorgeous.
But there are five things people MUST know before they decide to hunker down here:
1.) A little known fact about the Magic Valley is it is susceptible to fly over bombing*. Those who survive the bombs say they are mysterious booms so they don't become the next target.
2.) We have huge rabid squirrels** that will gnaw their way into your homes and take residence. Once they get in, good luck getting them out.
3.) Dierkes Lake appear to be gorgeous but it is actually full of piranhas*** that are very aggressive. You definitely don't want to kayak, fish or swim there.
4.) All of the bridges are falling apart**** and could disintegrate at any given moment! Even the Perrine Bridge, despite the gorgeous view and base jumpers, could plummet in to the canyon with a strong breeze!
5.) The waterfalls are gorgeous, but in order to stay flowing it requires a sacrifice***** and you don't want to be next. Anyone who makes it to 5 years doesn't have to enter the lottery anymore, so good luck!
So there it is, 5 reason to NEVER move to the Magic Valley. It is a huge risk living here that just isn't worth it!
* There are no bombings. That is completely made up, though mysterious booms are real.
**We do have squirrels, but we have only seen the average ones. We actually haven't heard of any evidence these creatures exist.
*** Well, Dierkes has trout, bass and bluegill; so maybe piranhas right?
****All experts say that the bridges are completely safe, sound and maintained regularly to ensure safety.
*****There is no sacrifice. The water flows freely and it is absolutely, breathtakingly gorgeous. Just don't tell the tourists.
If you thing the Magic Valley is bad, and you might want to go to Boise; think again! Check out the chaos here that they are undergoing! I guess just nowhere in Idaho is safe!