Francisco Liriano Somehow Hurt Himself Scaring His Kids
The Pittsburgh Pirates haven’t had a winning season since a young pre-rumored-to-be-usin’-PED-homer-swingin’ Barry Bonds was roaming the outfield. The injury to newly-signed pitcher Francisco Liriano may prove there’s a karmic reason for that.
Liriano, best known for being a brilliant pitcher with the Minnesota Twins before injuries got to him, injured himself yet again on Christmas Day. But it’s the way he got hurt that should cause Pirates fans to realize they’re team is more of a lost cause than the Romney campaign.
It seems Liriano broke his right arm when he bumped into a door while trying to scare his kids. Apparently, Liriano is working on a post-baseball career as the bogeyman.
Liriano had been close to signing a contract with Pittsburgh at the time, but wound up canceling a trip to go there the day after Christmas because he was in so much pain. He ended up in the hospital where he learned his arm was broken.
The Pirates don’t seem too fazed, though, since they recently finalized the contract, which actually calls for an option for a second year. Yes, it’s moves like this that explain why the Pirates are the Pirates.
Liriano, who joins the pantheon of ridiculous sports injuries, should be ready to pitch by the middle of next month, which is good, because Pittsburgh technically will still be in contention, since, you know, the regular season still won’t have started.
Hey, take heart Pirates fans – at least your team isn’t bringing in players the way the Indians did in ‘Major League.’ Although they did win the pennant, so maybe Pittsburgh should think about that.