10 People You’ll Meet at Your Temp Job
Finding work these days can be pretty rough. Luckily (sort of) we have temp jobs. Even though you probably don’t plan on spending more than a few months in the place, that doesn’t mean you won’t come across the standard office characters. The Meal Stealer, the Bathroom Talker — they’re all there. So before you start that next short-term position (and completely lose your mind), acquaint yourself with these 10 people you’ll meet at your temp job.
The Lunch Thief
Otherwise known as the Meal Stealer, the Lunch Thief is elusive, invisible and so darn annoying. They have nothing else better to do than to lurk around the office kitchen and make a clean sweep of innocent victims’ lunches. We recommend before sticking your lunch in the fridge, briefly putting it down your pants.
The Obnoxious Laugher
We enjoy a good chuckle here and there throughout the day. It keeps our spirits high when the workload gets tough. But there’s always that one office dweller who takes things to another level. We’re talking about cackling up a storm for, like, 10 minutes over a YouTube video. We get it — the guy hit his crotch on a bicycle. Pipe down, you lunatic.
The Bathroom Talker
It’s nice to exchange some chitchat throughout the workday to build friendly relationships with coworkers, even though they won’t last because the second that acting gig comes through, you are so outta there. But never in the bathroom. There are rules that must be followed — wash your hands, use the stall that is as far as possible from all other people, and take all measures necessary to maintain anonymity. Obviously, this means running out the door as fast as possible if you hear somebody zip up their pants, staring into the sink if you have to wash your hands at the same time as somebody else, and REMAINING SILENT.
The Rule Stickler
Even though there’s very little chance we’ll be at the temp job for more than a few months, someone always finds it necessary to force upon us the office rules like a nutcase. He or she makes sure we know the exact sharpening method of pencils and the way we must go about disposing of said pencil shavings. This character makes things 10 times worse, because it’s so, so hard not to laugh at them.
The Desktop Snoozer
Work can be super-boring sometimes, and that afternoon slump is pretty much inevitable every. single. day. While caffeine, candy, or a brisk slap to the face are usually our go-tos when this happens, there’s always that one really sleepy dude who can’t seem to perk up. We mean really, really sleepy. He’s the Desktop Snoozer, and he tries to be sly by resting his head in his arms, but that awfully loud snore gives the guy away. This is the man that 5 Hour Energy commercial is targeting.
A temp position is a temporary job, so that’s why it boggles employees’ minds how one person always manages to work in the office for a long, long time. She’s not a full-time lady– that’s already been scoped out. She does seem pretty normal though, besides engaging in some occasional bathroom chatter. Yet, we’re stumped as to how she’s still hanging around past her contract’s end. The woman’s a mystery and a half.
The Oblivious Guy
If you’ve ever found yourself going from one temp position to the next, it can become sort of hard to keep track of them all. Cue: Oblivious Guy. We’re not entirely sure why, but he’s been at approximately 12 jobs in the past five months, and he barely knows his nose from his toes. In fact, the guy’s so oblivious that he usually has no idea what he’s supposed to be doing at any given moment. Basically the only way that he differs from an intern is that he tricked somebody into paying him.
The Joke Boss
Whether he’s declaring “beer o’clock” or insisting on a mid-workday ping pong tournament, Joke Boss just doesn’t care. He’s managing a team of temp job holders, so why enforce rules if it’s only a three-month stint for employees? Joke Boss is all, “bring on the fun y’all!” It should be fun, only it’s not. It’s like being trapped in a real-life version of ‘The Office’ and you don’t even get to be Tim or Dawn (or Jim or Pam).
The best part of any job is that one middle-aged lady who acts like the mom of the office. She brings in cookies every Friday, calls us “honey” and has a handy stash of stain remover at a moment’s notice. It’s adorable. She’s the only reason we don’t go totally and completely crazy case at any job. She’s the EveryMom.
The Paper Jammer
Dealing with a paper jam is probably the worst thing that could happen in an office, ever. Battling with a printer makes us want to throw the thing out the window, and there’s usually that one person who brings about said paper jam in the first place– the Paper Jammer. Maybe they don’t know which buttons to press or how to load paper into the feeder. Regardless, we wouldn’t mind throwing them out the window as well sometimes.