Things Would Be Different If Santa Was Idahoan
I know, he lives in the North Pole with his reindeer and elves. Could you imagine, for just one second though, if Santa was an Idahoan? Things would be so different.
I love this time of year and I love Santa. But if Santa was Idahoan things would be so much different.
Rock chucks instead of reindeer
Santa wouldn't have easy access to reindeer, but he would have easy access to rock chucks. Santa would use his magical powers to create flying rock chucks instead of reindeer.
The names of the rock chucks would be different
Instead of Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Commet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen we would have:
Rifle, AK, Bullet, Hunter, Shotgun, AR, Bow and Arrow
Forget the cookies and milk
I mean, everyone loves cookies. But if Santa was Idahoan it would be customary to set out finger steaks and a beer.
The naughty list wouldn't get coal
Instead of coal in the stocking, Santa would leave a California license plate for your car.
Red suits are way too flashy
Santa wouldn't be decked out in bright red costumes. Instead he would totally be in full camo gear. No, he isn't hunting but he would look very stylish.
A sleigh is so impractical
If Santa was from Idaho he would replace that sleigh with a tractor. Spacious and capable of handling anything a December night could throw at you.
The Christmas tree would looks very different
Forget the fir covered in ornaments and tinsel. The Christmas tree would be decorated with craft beer and instead of tinsel it would be covered in huckleberries.
Christmas Eve would be extended
Santa is magical and fast. He makes in all the way around the world to every single house in a single night. If he was from Idaho that would definitely be a three day process. He can't speed after all.