Things Would Be Different If Santa Was Idahoan
I know, he lives in the North Pole with his reindeer and elves. Could you imagine, for just one second though, if Santa was an Idahoan? Things would be so different.
I love this time of year and I love Santa. But if Santa was Idahoan things would be so much different.
Santa wouldn't have easy access to reindeer, but he would have easy access to rock chucks. Santa would use his magical powers to create flying rock chucks instead of reindeer.
Instead of Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Commet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen we would have:
Rifle, AK, Bullet, Hunter, Shotgun, AR, Bow and Arrow
I mean, everyone loves cookies. But if Santa was Idahoan it would be customary to set out finger steaks and a beer.
Instead of coal in the stocking, Santa would leave a California license plate for your car.
Santa wouldn't be decked out in bright red costumes. Instead he would totally be in full camo gear. No, he isn't hunting but he would look very stylish.
If Santa was from Idaho he would replace that sleigh with a tractor. Spacious and capable of handling anything a December night could throw at you.
Forget the fir covered in ornaments and tinsel. The Christmas tree would be decorated with craft beer and instead of tinsel it would be covered in huckleberries.
Santa is magical and fast. He makes in all the way around the world to every single house in a single night. If he was from Idaho that would definitely be a three day process. He can't speed after all.