Another Absurdist Shopping Excursion
I needed cat food and I got a surrealist trip into modern America. This morning I read Walmart stores would be limiting customers at any given time. There’s concern people aren’t keeping a safe social distance. As many of us have witnessed as we buy groceries, it’s quite common to see strangers French-kissing in produce. We don’t dare say what happens in the meat department!
I was at a store Friday and estimated a quarter of the shoppers were wearing masks. It wasn’t quite the same at Walmart Saturday, although. A fellow was walking around with a bandana covering the lower half of his face. He was topped by a cowboy hat. I’m told a bandana will suffice but does he do his banking in the same get-up?
I came across a cracker display and I do believe the name sums up America in the spring of 2020.
There was a woman masked and gloved and wearing some sort of blue plastic over her body. No one was French-kissing the woman in the tarp.
I came across a cracker display and I do believe the name sums up America in the spring of 2020. I bought a bag in hopes of keeping my sanity.
When I made it to the cat food aisle I spent some time waiting at a safe distance. There was a woman standing in the spot I wanted and she was taking her time staring at her options. She was masked. I wasn’t. I can’t find any masks available. Instead I’ll ramp up my garlic consumption and hope it drives people away. Or I’ll skip showering. It’s not like I was physically close to anyone before all this began!
There’s a scene in a Marx Brothers film where a woman asks Groucho to hold her closer. “If I held you any closer, I’d be in back of you,” he replies. I wonder what a wit like Groucho would make of our plight. He survived while a sibling died in infancy. He survived Two World Wars, the Spanish Flu and the Great Depression. And a few divorces.
Leaving, I noticed a young man standing outside and counting customers. He was masked but wasn’t wearing a coat. It was 28 degrees. I guess he missed the memo on frostbite.