Chuck Schumer: Captain of the Swiss Navy

Few people in American political history have been as calculating and conniving as U.S. Senator Chuck Schumer.

I’ve got an old VHS tape at home where he stops along a parade route and asks my then 5-year-old daughter to give him 5!  She really whacked him a good one that day.

What he experienced Monday was a much bigger thumping.

Here were some of my thoughts among two dozen I tweeted following his spectacular blunder on the government shutdown:

Chuck Schumer got rolled like asphalt on a new highway. #SchumerShutdown

Chuck Schumer squeezed like Myron Floren's accordion. #SchumerShutdown

Schumer Shutdown KO'd faster than Sonny Liston. #SchumerShutdown

Schumer got whipped like a customer at a Nevada whorehouse. #SchumerShutdown

Schumer got hosed like Trump in a Moscow hotel. #SchumerShutdown

Schumer cracked like a 3 egg omelet. #SchumerShutdown

Schumer fizzled faster than a bottle rocket in rain. #SchumerShutdown

Schumer shrank faster than George Costanza in a pool. #SchumerShutdown

Schumer's going to campaign in the Philippines as the Manila Folder. #SchumerShutdown

Schumer wilted faster than the Vikings defense! #SchumerShutdown

Schumer folded quicker than the Italian Army in North Africa! #SchumerShutdown