![Chuck Schumer: Captain of the Swiss Navy](http://townsquare.media/site/95/files/2018/01/Chuck-1.jpg?w=630&h=429&zc=1&s=0&a=t&q=89&w=980&q=75)
Chuck Schumer: Captain of the Swiss Navy
Few people in American political history have been as calculating and conniving as U.S. Senator Chuck Schumer.
Schumer got whipped like a customer at a Nevada whorehouse. #SchumerShutdown
I’ve got an old VHS tape at home where he stops along a parade route and asks my then 5-year-old daughter to give him 5! She really whacked him a good one that day.
What he experienced Monday was a much bigger thumping.
Here were some of my thoughts among two dozen I tweeted following his spectacular blunder on the government shutdown:
Chuck Schumer got rolled like asphalt on a new highway. #SchumerShutdown
Chuck Schumer squeezed like Myron Floren's accordion. #SchumerShutdown
Schumer Shutdown KO'd faster than Sonny Liston. #SchumerShutdown
Schumer got whipped like a customer at a Nevada whorehouse. #SchumerShutdown
Schumer got hosed like Trump in a Moscow hotel. #SchumerShutdown
Schumer cracked like a 3 egg omelet. #SchumerShutdown
Schumer fizzled faster than a bottle rocket in rain. #SchumerShutdown
Schumer shrank faster than George Costanza in a pool. #SchumerShutdown
Schumer's going to campaign in the Philippines as the Manila Folder. #SchumerShutdown
Schumer wilted faster than the Vikings defense! #SchumerShutdown
Schumer folded quicker than the Italian Army in North Africa! #SchumerShutdown
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