Idaho Needs a Law Banning Ugly Christmas Sweaters

I’d like to say I’ve never owned an ugly Christmas sweater but I did.  I hadn’t heard the reference at the time.  I was a young man and had traveled home for the holiday.  One of the presents my dad gave me was a heavy sweater.  It certainly had some unusual design but, gosh, it was warm.  I ended up often wearing it on winter weekends for the next couple of years.  It coincided with a period of my life where I just couldn’t seem to build relationships with women.  Maybe it was simply a coincidence.

My First and Last Ugly Sweater

About the same time, I started reading stories about hideous Christmas attire.  About the same time, my ugly sweater wore out.  No photographs exist of me wearing the thing.  I can only say God was in my corner!

By the way, I’ll see some fine examples of the species at our company Christmas Party in a couple of weeks.

The thing is, as I grow older I really don’t care what people think of my looks.  My face and hair have grown shaggy and I’m comfortable in basketball shorts and a hooded sweatshirt.  The hoodie wraps around my pot belly.  But I’ve got to say, I would never, ever want to again be caught in an ugly sweater.

There Were Worse Fads

When I was young I also used to wear argyle.  Often with matching socks.  What the heck was I thinking?

One other point.  Ugly sweaters are a luxury.  You buy one as a joke for a party.  You wear it only once a year.  Sheesh, the point of clothes is you get some utility from them.