SATIRE: Idahoans Who Did These Things Will Likely Survive Coronavirus
So many people are freaking out over the Coronavirus. So much so that some major retailers are running out of bottled water and toilet paper because people are stocking up. I am not sure how that is going to help but ok. So we came up with a list of things a ton of Idahoans have done meaning you will likely survive the Coronavirus outbreak.
If you are an Idahoan that has ever done these things, I am pretty sure your immune system is stronger than the Coronavirus
Swam in Dierkes Lake – that entire thing is based on run off and looks green and scary. The good thing is that if you have swam there your immune system is probably so strong nothing can take you down. Bonus points – maybe you will get super powers if you go enough
Worked on A Farm – Farmers take amazing care of their farms and make sure that everything is healthy for people to eat. In order to do that they have to do things like spray chemicals to prevent bugs, battle large animals like cows and get up stupid early in the morning. If those things haven’t killed you yet, Coronavirus doesn’t have a chance.
Played in The Drops – again, that is all run off water. It is probably full of chemicals and cow poop. If you played in that and haven’t grown an extra limb I would say Coronavirus can’t take you down.
Played In Mermaid Hole – again, run off water. RUN OFF WATER. Contaminated with stuff and we Idahoans aren’t scared! If anything, Coronavirus should be scared of us.
Street Raced Down Blue Lakes - I hear it was a big thing around here to street race down Blue Lakes. If you can survive teenage drivers, Coronavirus isn't that scary.
Lived In An Era Without Cell Phones – sure kids today do stupid stuff but we all know about it before cell phones. Now when kids do stuff they can call an ambulance and get help. If you survived the time when you could go in the woods, jump your bike, break a leg miles from help and survive, I think you’re safe.
Metal Old School Play Sets - Do you see how high kids can get while jumping off the swings? How did we never break our legs? Merry-go-rounds are circling death traps. Metal slides left burns on you and jumping off the monkey bars. Man, if you can survive all of that Coronavirus ain't go anything on you.
If you are Chuck Norris - bravo you win everything.
Keep calm and carry on!