What’s The Point Of DeCaf?

Seriously, I don't put water in my gas tank.  The car won't run without petrol.  I understand some of you can't drink caffeine for reasons of health or faith.  Then why drink any coffee?  It's not like it's a tasty slice of pecan pie.  

Coffee is a tool for the world's early risers.  When I walked into the Townsquare Media Commissary this morning I spotted the above abomination.  You people are sick!  Literally or figuratively.  Have you ever made the mistake of buying something other than high-test when you're on a trip?  Half an hour later you're hurtling down the Interstate and the sandman starts calling.

A buddy of mine from high school was once handed a light beer.  He gave it back to his host.  The surprised look brought a quick reply from my friend.  "I don't drink ladies beer," he offered.  'Nuff said.