Yellowstone Tourons Must Leave Their Brains at the Park Gates
The sun came up today, and that means more morons are visiting Yellowstone. The site is the standard for the national park system, and busy. Some would say overrun with tourists, many of whom were born stupid or never developed an IQ above 75. Which is why someone invented the name tourons, combining tourists and morons in a fitting description.
One of the latest videos uploaded to the Tourons of Yellowstone page is of an idiot photographing bighorn sheep up close. Unlike Mary’s little lamb, these are compactly built and powerful wild animals. I’ve never been trampled by one, but I imagine it isn’t pleasant.
I say that because I’ve been headbutted by goats, who are smaller, tamer, and still often cantankerous. Let me tell you, it’s not something you enjoy. Well, unless you’re a masochist, which I guess, if you combine with touron, takes you back to tourist.
Look, the park is replete with signs warning you to leave the critters alone. The foreigners who pop up in these videos can use the language barrier as an excuse, but still, I don’t need an interpreter to know a massive elk or bison is potentially dangerous.
People put themselves in harm’s way to post pictures on social media and look for hits from friends. Does that make them cool? Because I can find pictures of animals with a simple online search, and many are far better than what Joe and Joan from Portland can snap.
An old boss of mine would’ve simply said after a goring that we’re cleaning out the gene pool.
Pictures of Yellowstone Park that will Make You Nostalgic
Gallery Credit: Kolby Fedore, Townsquare Media; Photos collected from Getty Images
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