Parking Cars As A Capital Offense

First new car I ever bought came straight off a showroom floor.  It had gold colored wheels and gold trim on green.  I drove to a grocery store going home and parked it as far away from the store doors as I could.  Away from other shoppers trying to park the shortest walk from the checkout. 

When I came out some jackass had parked next to me on the far end of the lot and swung a door into my new car.  When the moron came back from his shopping, I wasn’t very Christian.  The oaf just gave me a vacant stare.  If I owned a classic VW, I wouldn’t even consider a shopping trip.  After all, there’s no such thing as justifiable homicide and if you encountered the same oaf you would be doing a slow burn, although.

As most of us learned long ago, the same gold danged (or in my case, gold dinged) idiots follow us wherever we go.  At least with a small car you don’t give them as much space to scrape, dent and foul.