How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?  Silly!  The questions moot.  With all the restrictions on electricity use, who uses lights?

O.K., this next one is multiple choice.  How many Californians does it take to paint a barn (you can use your toes if you run out of fingers while counting)?

  1. One to hold the brush.  Ten to push the ladder back and forth.
  2. 1,002. One to hold the brush, one to steady the ladder and 1,000 to push the barn back and forth.
  3. 11,002. One to hold the brush, one to steady the ladder and 1,000 to push the barn back and forth.  The others handle the necessary paperwork.

The correct answer is, as you deduced, 3.

The barns in these locations could be filled with marijuana, sharp objects or a combination of both!

This could stump many from the Left Coast as in, “What’s a barn?”  These are structures you often see in wine country or in the Imperial Valley.  Where they have rustic museums known as farms.  This is where your food comes from.  Versus being created in a Star Trek style replicator in the room behind the deli.  Barns can also be found at Manson Ranch or in Humboldt County.  You wouldn’t want to visit either place.  The barns in these locations could be filled with marijuana, sharp objects or a combination of both!

Here’s a simple yes or no question.  Do you find fleas at a swap meet?

Would you find Bobby and Cindy Brady wandering the grounds?  They got left behind in 1974 when there wasn’t any room left in the family station wagon.  When Oliver arrived, he not only took one seat but he also liked to put up his feet.  Since Mike had lost a contract on a new tower, he wasn’t at all worried about fewer mouths to feed.

Finally, have you thought anytime in the last six months about relocating to Idaho?  If you do, follow the advice of your new neighbors.  Get to DMV as soon as you can and change the plates on your car.  And at least pretend you like fry sauce.