This week we learned Canada's politically correct government made changes to its popular national anthem.  Funny, a country so sensitive where men on skates beat themselves with clubs.  Or beat furry animals with clubs during seal hunts.  I present a new Canadian anthem that will celebrate a great national tradition:

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Clubbing in the morning, swinging heaves of cruelty,

Clubbing in the noontide and the snowy eve;

Waiting for the squealing, and the time of skinning,

We shall come bludgeoning, clubbing baby seals,

 

Clubbing baby seals, clubbing baby seals,

We shall come bludgeoning, clubbing baby seals

Clubbing baby seals, clubbing baby seals,

We shall come bludgeoning, clubbing baby seals,

 

Clubbing in the sunshine, clubbing in the shadows,

Fearing neither ice nor humane caring please,

By and by the shrieking, and the carnage ended,

We shall come bludgeoning, clubbing baby seals,

 

Going forth with bleeding, clubbing for the profit,

Though the loss sustained our wallet often bulge,

When our clubbing’s over, pelts will bring us dollars,

We shall come bludgeoning, clubbing baby seals,

 

Clubbing baby seals, clubbing baby seals,

We shall come bludgeoning, clubbing baby seals

Clubbing baby seals, clubbing baby seals,

We shall come bludgeoning, clubbing baby seals.

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