A Curmudgeon Skips the Rides at the Twin Falls County Fair

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I haven’t been on a carnival ride for at least 20 years, and maybe 25.  This is a shame because I have a colorful history when it comes to rides at fairs and amusement parks.  When I was five, I was the tallest kid in my kindergarten class.  Other kids eventually surpassed me, but at the time I could have passed for being eight.  There was a small amusement park at the lake where my dad worked.  One day, my mom took my sister, brother, and me to check out the rides.

I was in a small car on a track when the park owner came by and suddenly pulled me out.  My mother confronted him, and he insisted I was too big for the ride.  I started to cry, and the other moms suddenly blew their corks.  One woman pulled a claw hammer from her purse and threatened to hit the guy.  True story!  Why was she carrying a hammer in her purse?  You can ask her.

In high school, my buddy Don Glover and I were on the Paratrooper at a local carnival.  He had warned me that rides made him sick, and when I challenged his courage, he got on board.  He promptly got dizzy and lost his dinner.  I never doubted him afterward.

By the time we were all old enough to have kids, I really enjoyed taking my daughter and niece to Six Flags and Marineland.  At Six Flags, I wrenched my neck on a roller coaster.  I was no longer as flexible as when I was a kid!  I was 34 at the time.  In the coming years, I only joined them on milder rides and eventually just stood and watched.  I discovered I enjoyed seeing them go roaring past me as much as I once enjoyed the loops, circles, and hairpin turns.

We start life on simple rides like carousels.  Later in late life, it’s about all we can handle!

The Twin Falls County Fair ends on Labor Day.